Edit Your Epitaph

The Story of Thunder Muscle

2012-01-27T07:01:00.003-05:00

Imagine you're a teenager walking down the street and you're approached by a gentleman selling an amazing new drink, we'll call it Thunder Muscle (for fans of David Cross). He goes on and on about how much Thunder Muscle can do for you, drinking can after can in an effort to entice you into trying one. You are feeling thirsty and it sounds interesting, but as a rule you don't like giving into sales pitches from random strangers, so you politely decline and move on with your day.

When you get home for dinner, you notice that your parents are drinking Thunder Muscle. For dinner?! They've put a can at everybody's place setting, and before you can start eating your meal, you and your siblings are forced to drink a sip of Thunder Muscle. Your brother and sister seem to really enjoy their Thunder Muscle, but to you it doesn't really taste like anything. You go on with dinner, noticing that your family keeps drinking their Thunder Muscle sporadically throughout the meal, while you opt for water.

That night before you fall asleep, your parents come into your room and tell you that before you can fall asleep, you have to take one last sip of Thunder Muscle with them. You don't really feel like it, but you can tell that it means a lot to your parents for some reason, so you tip another one back.

The next day at school, you notice that a LOT of people are drinking Thunder Muscle. Your teachers, some of your friends, many of them are also wearing t-shirts and bracelets promoting Thunder Muscle. Some kids have their entire locker FILLED with Thunder Muscle. Finally your best friend sees you noticing all of this and asks if you would like a can of their Thunder Muscle. You trust this person, and you've tried enough Thunder Muscle by now that you know it won't kill you or anything... so you take the can. As you raise it to your lips, you notice that several people are watching you drink, trying to figure out if you like it or not. It still tastes the same to you as it always has... that is, there is nothing incredible or life altering about the drink in your mind. But all of these people are going nuts over it... so as you finish your sip you let out a nice big satisfying "Ahhhh" to satisfy the crowd.

All of a sudden, the people who love Thunder Muscle start being a lot nicer to you, inviting you to their parties, taking a genuine interest in your life, and supplying you with free Thunder Muscle until you can afford to buy your own.

You're in College, amongst a group of close friends who are still raving about Thunder Muscle as much as they did the first day they tried it, you admit that you are having doubts that Thunder Muscle is as good as they think it is. A few of your friends are appalled by this suggestion, and you notice the distance from them instantly. Others say that it's natural for you to doubt how wonderful Thunder Muscle is from time to time, but that if you just drink MORE of it, you'll return to your undying love for Thunder Muscle. One of them shares a touching story about how they walked away from Thunder Muscle completely for years, and got into all sorts of bad situations, all the while in the back of their heads they knew that they were suffering so much b/c they had cut Thunder Muscle out of their life. When they finally dropped their pride and decided to pick up a can of Thunder Muscle again, they realized (with tears in their eyes) that it was THUNDER MUSCLE that actually gave them the desire/power/strength to realize that they needed Thunder Muscle in their life and to do something about it. The story makes you feel guilty for doubting Thunder Muscle, and you make a promise that you will NEVER stop drinking it, ever.

Now you're 25 years old. You drink Thunder Muscle more than ever. You have multiple nights a week where you get together with a small group of people in order to drink it together, because apparently something extra special happens when you do that. People ask you to share your story about how Thunder Muscle changed your life. You talk about your life, giving credit to Thunder Muscle for the good parts, and blaming yourself for not drinking as much of it as you should to explain the bad parts. You no longer believe that you are a fraud who doesn't actually love Thunder Muscle... you have committed your life to Thunder Muscle, what greater love could you have? You have even gotten other people to start drinking it, and now they love it, too! Sure, you still have doubts from time to time about Thunder Muscle, but who doesn't? It's also what your entire life/community is based around, so what good does it do to talk about your thoughts which are probably wrong anyhow? You reach for another can of Thunder Muscle.

Now you're 30 years old. You've seen some pretty messed up stuff being done while the person is chugging Thunder Muscle, wearing a Thunder Muscle T-Shirt. You've also done a lot of research into the ingredients of Thunder Muscle and have discovered that it can do a lot of damage, especially whenever you drink a lot of it. You're coming to grips more and more with the fact that you never truly LOVED Thunder Muscle, but tried to develop a love for it over years of repetitive consumption. You realize now that Thunder Muscle has not saved you, and that no amount of consumption can change the fact that it cannot and will not save you. You now know this in your heart to be true. You put down the can.

Over the next several years, you spend time explaining to the community that you care about why on earth you would make this decision, all the while they are slipping cans of Thunder Muscle into your fridge when they think you're not looking. You lost most of the people who you were close with, and the ones that remain out of love, you sense a profound sense of distance. Still, the temptation to appease your community and keep your friendships is not strong enough to overpower your knowledge that Thunder Muscle is not the answer, so you keep moving forward with your life.

You see a man on the street who is selling an amazing new drink talking to a teenager. He goes on and on about all of the awesome things it can do for them. Out of his briefcase he pulls out a jumbo can of something you have never seen before. The packaging is just fantastic, eye catching and instantly makes you want more. As he turns the can towards you, you see the name come into focus.

"The problem with me, and the problem with you, is that we're all just so scared to die. I know my time is coming..." -- Quiet Company

You're older than you've ever been, and now you're even older

2011-06-05T21:49:00.004-04:00

We are surrounded by things that can never be known. Who am I? Why are we here? Was there a 2nd shooter by the grassy knoll? What is skinny? What is fat? What is beauty? Did I make the right career move? Am I truly loved? Is there life after death?

One of the only things that can ever actually be truly KNOWN is that every moment of your life, you are older than you were during the one prior to it. You might not be wiser, you might not be getting more mature, but you're always, always getting older.

So if you fear aging, you are living in a state that is constantly having your fears realized. You can never have a great day where you didn't age. All of the plastic surgery or whatever crazy diet/hair dye/anti-wrinkle cream/clothes you rely on in order to make yourself *feel as though your fears are not being realized... it's ALL bullshit.

So what, right? Most people deceive themselves somehow in order to cope with what's in front of them. What's one more lie to believe?

The aging/dying fear, like all other fears, has created a nice $$ profit for those who know how to sell the lie better than others. So not only is the fear irrational, but when we give in to it we're making other people rich off of NOT solving our fears, just fueling them.

So how do you get past your fear of aging/dying without running the rat race of trying/failing to feel as though you are keeping it at bay? Well, some people turn to religion. They become convinced that everything will be alright in heaven, they'll be young and vibrant forever up there, so this whole temporary process of aging is not really a big deal.

I don't have an easy answer, as you'll notice that all of the easy answers do not actually deliver. What I can suggest in way of positive growth is to realize that you are a person full of mystery, possibility and beauty. You are that person on day 1 and during your final breath. Take advantage of being that person while you have the opportunity, and understand that while you may or may not cease to be one day -- what actually matters today is that you are here. Enjoy it.

What Was the Land Promised?

2011-05-15T10:26:00.005-04:00

Everybody wants to go to heaven, even those who aren’t so sure it exists.
People will do just about anything to secure that eternal promise… but the great thing is that in America, you really don’t have to do much at all. We’ve got the system down -- it’s amazing. All the person (sinner) has to do is say a simple prayer accepting Jesus into their hearts as personal Lord and savior, and those spiritual gears will be turning for you forever.

Amen.

Right?

Ok, so maybe you said “the prayer” as a little kid, and to make sure it really sticks it might be a good idea for you to say your “re-dedication prayer” – but don’t worry, this is just like salvation insurance, which is even more important than car insurance… so why not just say this one, too?

Amen.

Now, I suppose it’s possible that even after this full-proof plan to cover yourself and your eternal future, you could experience what some people might call: doubts. Uh-oh. I know, I know… you’ve already said this holy prayer confessing that you believe these things, and that your secured salvation is totally hinged upon that prayer being truthful. So what do you do with your thoughts of unbelief? You’ve probably been told that the ONLY sin that God won’t forgive is to deliberately reject the mercy of God once you have come to know it. So you’d better not be TOO vocal about those doubts, or else people might start to worry about your salvation and stuff.

It’s really important that they all think you’re a full member of the club, by the way. No lukewarm Christians allowed -- you don’t wanna get yourself spit out.

This is becoming too complicated, let’s just keep it simple. Your sweet mansion in heaven depends on you doing one thing: believing. So just do it. Like the shoe. Believe. BELIEVE.

Still having your doubts? Come on! What’s wrong with you? Believe harder. Believe better. Say the prayer a few more times in order to cleanse your guilt for the doubts that you keep having. Come down to the alter call if that’s what it takes. Just “give it to God” or “let go and let God” or whatever phrase will help you unlock the magic beans of belief. We’re talking about heaven, here. Heaven! We all know there are no tears there -- doesn’t it sound too good to be true?

-----

Saying a self-centered magical mantra will just lead to an empty life of white-knuckle faith, with a thick slice of ‘public perception management’ on the side. Whatever your first step ends up being, it had better be an HONEST one, or whatever path you take will simply take you farther and farther from whom you really are inside.

A few years ago, I realized that I was miles and miles down a path that was not real. It takes a lot of work and letting go in order to find your way after something like that. When it comes to matters of the heart and faith, I would strongly suggest that you:
1. Always allow yourself to be honest
2. Don't TRY to feel/believe anything at all, just be yourself
3. Don't try to get anybody else to feel/believe anything at all, just let them be themselves

Resurrection Hotties

2011-05-14T08:13:00.004-04:00

Easter morning is the largest church-attendance day of the entire year, even ahead of Christmas. It's a day where Christians celebrate the resurrection of Jesus through chocolates, eggs and most importantly -- fashion.

It starts early in life for the women. As little girls, they are trained to expect a nice new dress for Easter Sunday. Could they have it a week before? No, this is their EASTER dress. It's not just about giving the child a nice dress, it's about having them look great for EASTER, where all of the parent's friends will be in attendance. As they get older, it's not uncommon for women to put extra thought and buy/wear something special for the Easter service.

There is also more social pressure to attend church on this day, even if you are not a member of that church, or that religion. Why is someone who chooses not to attend church on Easter looked upon any differently than somebody who chooses not to go any other day of the year? We make games for the kids so they think Easter is fun, and give them a basket of chocolates as if they have done something deserving.

Social pressure to attend, social pressure to wear nice new clothes... and this is a celebration of Jesus? Jesus didn't seem to care one bit about clothing/fashion, and he wasn't telling his disciples to go drag all of their friends/neighbors to hear his latest thoughts.

I honestly think that the reason there is more pressure put on people to attend Easter (and Christmas) services is that deep down, Christians think these messages are the most powerful and that there is the greatest chance of conversion/renewal of faith at these services. Either that or they just like to look around their church and feel like they are a part of something that a ton of people in the world agree with.

I say go to church if you want to, don't if you don't, and wear whatever the hell you want to wear, wherever you are.

Your Inheritance

2011-03-06T07:51:00.008-05:00

Parents don't actually wait until they die to bequeath everything to their children, it actually happens mostly on the other end of things.

First off, the ingredients that make you as the child are 100% coming from your parents. Sure, you may get a baldness gene from Grandpa, but let's not split hairs (sorry, that one was awful) here.

People are immediately coming up to you as a baby and searching for which parent you look like the most. Other family members stare at you, hoping to find their nose or something that belongs to them that you are now carrying. Nobody is looking at you with the sincere hope that you look nothing like either parent. The more you resemble them, the cuter you appear, and the more attention you get.

This continues throughout your formative years, gleaning everything about the world through your parent's eyes. You learn how to walk and talk from them. You can only watch the TV shows and movies that they approve. Your diet options are 100% under their control, forming not only your taste buds but your social attitudes concerning things such as eating meat or not eating meat. They arrange play dates and decide who your friends are going to be for you.

Now, as you get older and start being given the freedom to make your own choices, there is always still the incentive to be more like your parents. Obviously, if you make the "responsible" choices that they approve of, you will avoid discipline. Also, if your tastes, views and choices fall in line with theirs, they seem to be more proud of you. This never really seems to go away. Doing something different than what your parents wanted takes a lot of courage, because the support is never there the way it is when you're doing what your parents would do, too. No matter what anybody says, everybody would prefer to have their parent's support and/or understanding when it comes to their life choices.

Eventually, we all make decisions that we know our parents would not approve of. I'm talking about responsible, thought out, well intentioned decisions that are just different than what they would have done. This is called "growing up" and it happens throughout your lifetime. The process of shedding other people's expectations and finding your way is something that never stops. Just don't expect your parents to be as enamored with you when you tell them you're gay as they were when they noticed that you make the same facial expression as them. But they should be, and if you have parents who never stopped growing up, maybe they're closer to that ideal than most.

Now, I say all of this not to stir up rebellion against well-intentioned parents (like my own, who I love), but to point out something deeper that we have in common with them: our values and religious beliefs. The influence that parents have over our values and belief structure is beyond measure. From 'telling the truth' to viewing women's role as being submissive to her husband, these are told and untold from our parents. A high percentage of religious people are associated with the same religion that their parents are, even down to the denomination. Their commitment level to their church also tends to mirror that of their parents: if their parents are casual about it, their children tend to be (throughout life), and vice versa.

You might think that your beliefs are 100% your own, and that you came to your conclusions by yourself. I have not found that to be the case in my own life, nor in anybody that I have ever spoken with. It doesn't make our values or beliefs automatically wrong, but it means that we need to be suspicious of them. If we had simply grown up in a different household, let alone a different country, we would think and believe so differently -- yet we have the audacity to think that we have anything figured out when it comes to religion.

The other problem we have is that we can only display suspicion and discernment with the minds that we have, which are heavily influenced by our inheritance and other pressures. It's like telling a person with dementia (which sounds like there is a demon in them) to treat themselves back to health, and to know when they have accomplished this. This brings me back to my previous post about the need to grow and expand ourselves constantly.

Without new thoughts and new experiences, we have no framework to challenge our own inbred thinking.

Live Me Two Times

2011-02-28T07:56:00.002-05:00

If you could live 2 lives -- the first as a disadvantaged minority and the second as a priviledged majority, what would it change in you? What if your first life you were a member of the opposite sex, and the 2nd you were what you are now? Change your political outlook, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, even your taste in food/art/clothes...then try to change it back.

You can't.

Once you expand yourself to truly understand somebody else's perspective, your original one can never be recaptured.

Let's shift gears and think about mice for a second.

If you take a colony of mice, and you put enough food to sustain 250 of them, eventually the population will even out at around 250. If you increase the food to sustain 500, eventually the population will even out around there. If you take it down to 10, same thing. I learn from this understanding all of the time.

Your body, mind and spirit function in this exact same way. New ideas, new growth, new levels of health, new music, new inspiration... these things don't just happen. You have to position yourself to experience them, or you will not experience them. What does that mean? You have to choose to be open. Choose to listen to people who think differently than you. Don't think that you have anything all figured out. Choose to listen to music that isn't what you're naturally drawn to. Try food that you haven't. Travel. Talk to strangers. If you don't, it's not what you think, which is that you just remain the same...You actually digress.

You're always in motion, one way or the other. If you're not expanding, you're contracting. If you're not extending, you're retracting.

The older we get, the harder it becomes for us to take these steps (not impossible, just more difficult). We become less and less willing to have our minds blown, our views turned on their heads, our tastes challenged. We're supposed to be getting wiser, but sometimes we're just getting older.

"Age and wisdom don't always come hand in hand, sometimes age just shows up all by itself."

Everlasting Lies

2011-02-08T10:33:00.000-05:00

So what, then, will become of you? You are weary and broken beyond your years. Most of your energy is either wasted or spent on people who are no longer walking with you. Your internal laughter has all but choked itself out. You have no idea who you truly are, save for the portrait of a wicked sinner deserving nothing close to the grace of god, let alone the forgiveness of a child.

--

In my experience, most people feel something like this inside when they are honest. We exist in between it all, but what we feel is "a little less than a happy high, a little less than a suicide." When people get to these places, they then start to look for answers that will allow them to stop staring into the abyss that is themselves. "Why are we here? Does God exist? What is the meaning of life?" All valid and interesting questions.

People have a fear of not-existing. They are already afraid of their bodies decaying and dying, but then what after that? Surely something that takes away everything bad I am feeling, I hope. This is where religion steps up and really helps us out. Religion is credited many times when asked *why people are not despairing... their belief system promises something that makes this all worth it, so that comfort makes our current existence much more hopeful. Religion is the only thing in position to offer this comfort, because it is the only entity selling what people want to buy when it comes to these questions.

Now, here I'm going to make a distinction between the actual answers to these big questions (whatever they are) and religion. They are not the same thing. The answers to the questions may or may not bring comfort... they just *are. Religion is the structure built around different people's opinions on those answers. Whether their answers are *correct or not is hardly the issue at hand. We have self-interest in reaching certain conclusions, therefore our pursuit of the answers to those questions always has to be held with suspicion. Any answers we come to that affirm what we *wanted to find must be taken with several grains of salt. The answers themselves do not need salt, nor suspicion... it's just that we are not the answers, and our desire to reach certain conclusions throws off the objectivity in the search.

Knowing this, it's not at all surprising that religions all offer some sort of reward to the believer. Believe this, and this will happen for you (either now, or eventually). It's as if they *know that religion is structurally self-driven and incentivized to begin with, so it plays on that part of our framework from start to finish. We have self-interest in finding answers so that we do not despair in our own filth, and it's now extra convenient that the answers we keep coming to help *us, making it even more of a draw/comfort to believe it.

Someone like me looks at this whole system where there is no salt, no suspicion, instead I see complete and utter abandon. To raise suspicion or to question a religion as I have done, it's as if I am threatening all of their incentives (the belief gives them comfort to the most troubled parts of their soul, as well as bonus stuff like riches, heaven or enlightenment) and people often react very defensively. The more people are defensive over their religion being threatened, the weaker their faith position seems to me. Once again, it doesn't affect the actual answers (whatever those are) but it hurts the representation of that religion as having truth to it.

I've been asked many times *why I keep posting the type of things that I do... well, it's because I think we need more salt. We need suspicion and discernment. I don't trust that my conclusions growing up weren't mainly formed out of self-interest. Nor do I trust yours. You can call that a lack of faith, but I see it differently. It wasn't FAITH that kept me trying to believe the story of Christianity for my whole life... no, it wasn't faith. It was fear and self-driven concerns. The more I let those things go, the less important the answers become, and the more toxic clinging to answers with full abandon appears. You might think that I'm trying to pry you away from what you hold most dear when I question your religion, or think that I'm being arrogant like I have all the answers. But I have none. And neither do you.

I love you all very much, and I don't want you to be insulted by our conversations on here or in person. I also don't want you to weep for my faith position, but that might be a bit much to ask for in certain situations. You certainly don't need to agree with me. But at least understand that I'm actually coming from a good place, and I'm only trying to encourage healthy growth in myself and in those around me. I'm not writing to spoil your meal, I just want to bring some different spices onto the table.

Sweet & Sour

2011-01-29T19:12:00.004-05:00

Why do people like to think that there will be no tears in heaven? No pain, no sorrow? I have been told by Christians that these things are a result of "the fall" and so they will have no place in heaven, which is without sin.

The theory is that pain and sorrow weren't around for anybody originally, and they will cease to be options for certain people eventually. I suppose if Adam stubbed his toe, it would not have hurt?

The idea that you could experience and understand one without the other is not only false, but it's toxic. Your ability to comprehend and appreciate joy is directly linked to your ability to understand true sorrow, and vice versa. If there were no tears in heaven, there would be no equivalent joy. If there was no stubbing of toes, there would be no chuckling.

When you're going through something really rough, and experiencing sadness to new depths... you're actually opening yourself up to experiencing joy to an equal and opposite direction. Sorrow is not even a necessary evil that you are forced to accept... it's what makes the joyful stuff known.

You say tomato, I say tomato

2010-11-25T08:41:00.004-05:00

Who is the enemy of the concept of enemies? No matter who it is, they become the cause they stand against simply by existing.

All my life I have heard talk of "absolute truth" and how it's the one and only thing to hold onto in this weary, broken world full of people and their "post-modern relativism" and other swear words, as well. There is a certain black/whiteness to a lot of things, and this is how they prefer to see the world. They think it's how God WANTS them to view the world. The only trouble is, this is not how the God of the Bible presents it to them.

The first humans are born into the world with no knowledge whatsoever of good or evil, and this is how God desired it. Everything just WAS, no label or title or box. This is the utopia created in the garden, and ruined by the sin of eating the fruit.

Skipping forward a few books and we see God sending an evil spirit to Saul. Whoa, wait a minute. If I did that, trying to follow God and be more like him every day... I'm pretty sure that Christians would not stand by and call this action *good. Yet, they would also say that God surely was not sinning when he did this. It's the same action, but in done by him it's OK, by me and you it wouldn't be. Therefore, the actions are not good/evil in and of themselves, they require motive/context in order to be understood through either lens. God commanded the elimination of neighboring countries/people quite often, and when Hitler did it he is a monster. I believe that what Hitler did was wrong, of course, I'm not arguing otherwise. I only mention it to point out that once again, people don't view that action as black or white, it's gray.

If you can justify and rationalize things that God does in the Bible that you would not feel OK with for yourself, then where does your standard come from? How do you know that what God did was OK if it wouldn't be OK for you to do? People who believe they are following some "absolute truth" are really just following their own subjective version/understanding of what they believe to be true. It may or may not be true, that's not what I'm taking issue with. It's the notion that some people could possibly tap into "absolute truth" unhindered and that the rest of us are all viewing things with our faulty human stupid logic, bound to mess it all up... that's what bothers me. We're all in the exact same pool of our own filth.

You say tomato, I say tomato. You only think you know what this means because of your experience. In reality, you will never know what anything means... just what you think it means.

If you can't be with the one you love...protect your shit

2010-11-20T07:23:00.004-05:00

If you're looking for a guarantee in life, the only one you're certain to find is that you won't find one.

People want stability. They want job security. They want what they love to always be with them. They get insurance on their possessions and buy home security systems. They can become clingy in relationships if they have been lonely. They get insurance on their own lives. They also can sign a prenuptial agreement, the oddest form of insurance I have ever seen.

If you think about it, the marriage contract is the closest available option to a guaranteed life partner that exists. Of course, since we know that it's not a 100% guarantee, we also want to guarantee that if the marriage promise falls short... at least I know I have my shit.

Sometimes people want to get married because they don't have confidence that their relationship will last if they don't. Or they want to have a baby because they fear their marriage is falling apart and this will make it harder for their spouse to leave. The prenup is so strange because it's no longer a secret fear you have that your marriage might not work, you're putting it out there and asking your "life partner" to sign it too. When you are supposedly at your most certain that you each want to spend your life with the other, both of them are signing a contract that lays out what will happen if they *don't. It's not only insurance on your stuff, it's added security for your marriage if you are marrying the type of person who would try to take half of your family inheritance through divorce. Of course, if that's the person you're marrying in the first place, why would you want extra incentive to keep them close to you??

"Obsessions with self preservation faded when I threw my fears away. It's not a thing you can't imagine -- you either lose your fear or spend your life with one foot in the grave." -Over the Rhine

It's when you don't go after the guarantees, the lock downs, the insurance... that's when the things around you grow and blossom. Not only that, but you appreciate everything that's around you *more when it's not under house arrest. Give some of your favorite stuff to somebody who would love it even more. Stop locking all your doors for a change if you're afraid somebody will break in to steal your new iPad. Maybe it's better for you if they DO. Choose to be with the one you love, and don't do things for them with the thought of what you might get out of it. Let the world take what you offer, and offer a lot.

That's what love looks like to me, anything less is more like selfish insecurity.

Imagine

2010-10-17T10:15:00.006-04:00

What if the Bible had never been written?

It actually wasn't written, of course. Nobody ever sat down to write the Bible. Many different people over hundreds and hundreds of years put their thoughts out there, never knowing (nor expressing intent) that these thoughts were somehow more "inspired" than their other thoughts, or that they should be called "scripture". Some of the writings were poems, some were stories, historical accounts, songs, prayers, predictions...

Jewish Rabbi's decided that certain writings were inspired by God, and this is essentially how the first 5 books of the Bible got in there. That's interesting to me because Jewish Rabbi's don't typically believe Jesus is the messiah or that the New Testament is "authoritative" but they somehow had the ability to discern that these first 5 books were. The rest of the canon for the O.T. was not decided upon completely until 250 A.D. Now... if you're able to sort through hundreds of years of writings and ramblings and prophecies AFTER the fact, it's not very impressive if you find some that seem to vaguely come true based on what you've seen happen. It would be like Babe Ruth predicting a home run hundreds of times, but when it finally comes true we erased all of the other false predictions and claim that THIS prediction was "inspired."

The New Testament is no more satisfying in its invention. At first, any book that one of the apostles deemed as having authority was instantly in. Really?? The apostles were little kids who spent years following Jesus around, and yet they still did not have a clue who he was until after he died (according to the story). All of a sudden they have the ability to discern which writings and documents were holy and inspired vs. any others beyond questioning?

After that, many councils got together over years and years to determine which writings were to be included, of course with many disagreements. The main questions they tried to answer in selecting books were:

1. Was the author an apostle or have a close connection with an apostle?

2. Is the book being accepted by the body of Christ at large?

3. Did the book contain consistency of doctrine and orthodox teaching?

4. Did the book bear evidence of high moral and spiritual values that would reflect a work of the Holy Spirit?

Ok... so, once again if its an apostle or a close pal of an apostle, that's a good start. If its popular with other Christians, even better. If its consistent with what we think of as orthodox, you're pretty much set. High moral and spiritual values would be smart, too... it can't just be Peter writing about his fantasy fisherman league he had going with Matthew.

By the time all of these 27 "books" were decided on, it was the 4th century and Christianity was rising to become the dominant religion in the Roman Empire.

What would have happened if the canon process had never happened? If people were never TOLD which books had authority and which ones did not, what would the church look like today? What if no books had authority, but everything required discernment? What if people had to decide for themselves who God is vs. having a holy book to take the pressure off? What if the canon is wrong and some of the words are not inspired? What if Paul found out that certain letters that he sent to certain people were now being universally applied to all people over all time? Would he say "uh... that was kind of my private letter I wrote for them. It's not supposed to be scripture." What if nothing is supposed to be "scripture" and people are just relying on a crutch to think for them, right or wrong?

I'm not saying that it's NOT true or that it IS true. That's kind of the point. The minute that something HAS to be true simply because its in the Bible... well, that's not true.

It's interesting that none of the books of the Bible were written by Jesus. He was a Jewish Rabbi, and he was the leader that the apostles followed, but it's not from him. It's a copy of a copy of a copy, translated and re-translated and debated and disputed. It's also not necessary. If that "book" was never compiled, is your God still the same? Does it change anything about Him/Her? No... it changes things for YOU, which is why humans cling to it, and God never touched it.

Pro-Thought

2010-10-09T20:51:00.005-04:00

The "pro-life" vs. "pro-choice" debate is really annoying.

First of all, the titles are extremely silly. They aren't mutually exclusive. A "pro-life" person can CHOOSE to not have an abortion, and therefore fulfill both the pro-life and pro-choice purpose. On the other side, a "pro-choice" person can CHOOSE to not have an abortion, therefore blah blah blah. That isn't a debate. Both parties can completely stick to their guns and possibly fulfill both agendas at the same time.

Second of all, they are overly dramatic. Humans have an ingrained desire for freedom, and so therefore a title that seems to affirm that (pro-choice) will resonate with people on that level, regardless of the issue. Humans (at least the half decent ones) hold a value in LIFE, and so a title that tugs on those strings will earn points, too. But being "pro-life" doesn't ruffle many feathers, it's a respectable view to hold in ANY situation (to try and uphold life where you can)... it's that other little part. The part about telling others what they have to choose in their own difficult situations.

If "pro-life" people simply wanted to make it known that they think abortion is a bad idea and that they themselves wouldn't choose that road, well then there wouldn't be a debate. It's the reaching across into the lives of others that actually sparks the emotions. Many people I know who are "pro-choice" would choose to not have an abortion themselves... so it has nothing to do with what one would or wouldn't choose, in their position. The titles should either be "pro-life" vs. "pro-abortion" OR "pro-choice" vs. "pro-no choice" -- THAT is taking 2 opposing views. But no... everybody just wants to present the "positive" side of their agenda, and so neither title is actually stating what is truly going on.

On a side note... those who are out-spoken about being pro-life. (Remember, I actually respect your decision to not have an abortion, yourself) In order to make such a strong, outward claim, you must look at your life and ask yourself "Am I pro-life?" Do you agree with capitol punishment? Do you ever support wars? Do you eat meat? Do you eat a LOT more meat than is necessary to survive? Are you actually AGAINST programs that are designed to HELP people who chose NOT to abort their children (yet they couldn't really afford them in the first place), and now are in crippling financial situations? How many single mothers have you adopted? Is there taxidermy in your den?

To just say "pro-life" or "pro-choice" just makes everything so absurd.

"I love the color blue."

"No, I enjoy a turkey sandwich."

"No, I love the color blue and here's why you should, too."

"No, I really enjoy a turkey sandwich and there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to."

Love. Me. Do.

2010-08-22T17:07:00.003-04:00

I grew up in a "Christian home" (I don't really know what this means exactly. It's not as if our house said the "sinner's prayer" or anything). My father is a pastor, and I have been to countless churches over the course of my journey. When I was a kid, I always sat up at the front. Now, when I do go... I find the pew that has the quickest exit strategy attached to it. Even though many of my closest friends are still Christians, I do not want to be lumped in with that grouping, for many reasons. One that has come up so many times over the years is that, in my opinion, Christians in general are not a people who know how to express love.

It's really sad, honestly. I remember as a kid at camp hearing songs over and over like "They will know we are Christians by our love" -- which sadly, is not true. Present day Christians in America are identified not primarily by their love, but for their inability to show love when they are needed most.

In an interview with Christianity Today, author Anne Rice said: "Christians have lost credibility in America as people who know how to love."

Why is this?? Their personal stories are all about grace, love and redemption. Most Christians you talk to won't boast about their salvation, but will give all the credit to the God who loved them whenever they didn't deserve it. In fact, the Bible tells them exactly what love looks like: "This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." 1 John 4:9-11

Love is not exclusive. Love hurts for the broken and marginalized. It pours itself out freely and without concerns for itself. The god of the bible says that in order to love him, you must love his sheep, creation, your neighbor AND your enemy. So a biblical argument could easily be made that if a person is not loving others and everything around them in this fashion, then they do not truly love god.

"If anyone says, 'I love God,' yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen." 1 John 4:19-20

"This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother." 1 John 3:10

I haven't even left 1 John and the point is crystal clear. So you tell me... what would YOU conclude if you looked around at all of this? In a church I attended for a long time, they were big on saying "You can be a Christian anything. A Christian plumber, or a Christian attorney." Well... this might be true to a point, but you certainly can't be a Christian asshole.

I noticed a very toxic notion while I studied Christian Thought in College. Christianity is becoming FIRST about believing all of the "right things" and intellectually ascending to the "truth" with the plan that this knowledge will naturally lead to loving people on the back end. I've got bad news, you guys... that's EXACTLY what the Pharisees did.

Just LOVE. That's it.

America: Get a Mirror

2010-08-08T10:04:00.008-04:00

Ah, freedom. Can you smell it? It smells a bit more like blood... but never mind that -- It's OURS, now. What's done is done. WE weren't the ones who lied to the Native Americans and stripped their land from underneath them simply because we could. And of course WE weren't the ones who helped build our economic success on the backs of slave labor. It doesn't make US any less amazing, right?

Our story is an interesting one. Apparently we were suffering from religious oppression across the water, so the great Christian men came here to escape it. Whoops. Thinking that the founding fathers were a bunch of Christian guys wanting to found a "Christian nation" is an all-too-common mistake. The founding fathers were Deist men of the Enlightenment who had little use for Christianity, and many were strongly opposed to it.

WE ARE NOT A CHRISTIAN NATION. We never have been. Pastor Greg Boyd tells his fellow Christians this in no uncertain terms in his book "Myth of a Christian Nation" which is a very interesting book, btw. Our current President was blasted by Fox News for accurately expressing this while addressing Turkey. Obama claimed that we "do not consider ourselves a Christian nation, rather a nation of citizens who are bound by ideals and a set of values." Fox News was outraged by this, and said that the average American should be very insulted and offended by what the President said. The constitution makes it very clear that we've never had, nor will we have, a national religion. The notion that we're a Christian nation and that we should "Take American back for God" is absurd. Terrible things happen whenever we try to combine religion with governing law.

This country can do many great things, and it's full of potential...but to call it GREAT gives the impression that we have already arrived at greatness, which is misleading. It's a good thing to take a critical look in the mirror without assuming that: 1. We're always the good guy, and 2. Changing our culture is always a bad idea.

Our hypocrisy is clear. Any perceived threats on our freedom is met with outrage and violence, conveniently forgetting over and over that we established ourselves on this land by stripping people of their freedom.

Our roots run deep, and they are a part of us still today. We cannot escape our history. It would just be nice for us to actually learn from it.

Out of the Woods

2010-07-25T13:28:00.009-04:00

We are a people who are well accustomed to scandal. Seeing a celebrity, politician or world leader get caught up in a lie, an affair or a dog fight is pretty much par for the course.

Typically, the people who don't like whoever the culprit is will stand up shouting for blood, while those who DO like them will stand up and say that we should keep the professional and personal life separate....with everybody else somewhere in between.

So what's the deal? We talk a lot about how THEY are supposed to act as role models, etc. But how should WE respond whenever those in the public eye show themselves to be less than amazing in their personal life? Is it possible to keep them completely separate? Is that the right approach? Does it even matter what you think/do in these situations??

Here are my thoughts as they currently stand:

1. Don't get too attached to anybody that you don't know personally. You're just drawn to the IDEA of them, and it could cloud your judgment when things come to light.
2. Don't excuse poor behavior for any reason. If somebody is extremely talented, but abusive to their wife... why should you feel any different than if some random untalented dude at work was beating his wife?
3. Don't make anybody into a monster. All of these people are still human beings, and even though what they did might be beyond excuse... nobody is beyond forgiveness.

We're not going to be surprised whenever the next scandal hits our ears... in fact, there's probably already been one in the time it's taken for you to read this blog. Will we continue to support them? Will we crucify them forever? Perhaps we will simply allow the cold and lonely passing of time to numb us into an apathetic stare in the direction of the television.

Jesus Wonka

2010-07-17T14:13:00.005-04:00

Ever notice that kids LOVE Christmas and Easter long before they're of the age where they fully understand the significance of what they're celebrating? In my experience, kids love these holidays even more than adults, who supposedly know the deep, rich meaning behind them.

I wonder why...

Oh that's right. It's toys and candy. Good ole toys and candy, hooks them every time. For kids, Halloween is on par with these other 2 "Christian" holidays, because of... oh yeah, the candy.

Ok, so what if Christians lure kids in with the toys and candy and then tack on a religious story to drive it home? That's not dishonest, right? I mean... most kids are easily able to resist toys/candy if it comes with hidden ulterior motives, right? Well, either way... I'm sure that this is how Christmas and Easter were celebrated in the Bible, so they must just be following their guide and this is just one of the little snags. Oh wait... it turns out that Christmas and Easter celebrations were never even discussed in the Bible. Hmm...

It also turns out that Christmas and Easter were both known pagan holiday celebrations from long before Jesus walked the earth. Christians still incorporate a lot of what the pagans did in their traditions, simply changing the name of the pagan god to Jesus, instead.

Halloween is another known pagan holiday, but on this one many of the Christians put their foot down and refuse to celebrate. The reason being: It's a pagan holiday. Since pagan origins don't deter Christians from celebrating on solstice and the fertility pagan festivals, it makes me wonder whether they just don't want their kids associating copious amounts of candy/toys with anything but THEIR god's celebrations... which of course, aren't even about Jesus at all.

If you took out all of the candy and toys away from these "Christian" holidays, would the kids still love them just as much? Would they be just as willing to suffer through the extra church services, etc. if there was no incentive for them on the other end? Why else would Christians be so willing to keep honoring all of these pagan traditions if it weren't somehow for the benefit of their kingdom?

Screwing for Virginity

2010-06-09T16:27:00.005-04:00

Those bumper stickers that say "support our troops" always make me a bit uncomfortable. It's as if the underlying message is that if you oppose the war and aren't showing support for the cause, well then you're not showing support for the TROOPS and therefore you're a huge jerk. But isn't it possible to support the troops BY opposing the war? Couldn't desiring them to be safe and to not die in vain be a form of love and... SUPPORT?

How many times are we going to fall for this notion that we are FIGHTING for PEACE? Or how is it possible for us to KILL them for their FREEDOM?

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity"
- George Carlin

I recommend that everybody watch this insightful clip from "This American Life" -- it's a segment called "Talk to an Iraqi" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPEX0PnV-LU

It's also interesting that the bumper stickers all say that we should be supporting OUR troops. What about the others? If we can agree that troops (not to mention all the civilians that get killed as "collateral damage") in most situations are not ACTUALLY the 'enemy', but merely people following their orders just as our soldiers do...Is it really wrong to care about the troops everywhere EQUALLY, and not favor the ones from our country? I know... it sounds insane. It's considered patriotic to care more about OUR troops, obviously. But is being a better patriot going to trump becoming a better human being?

What would change inside you if you were to view both their troops and ours as equally deserving of life, love and respect?

It seems to me that the best way to support troops is to avoid war at all costs.

Praying with one eye open

2010-05-15T10:21:00.002-04:00

When I notice a group of people praying in public, typically there is at least one person within the group that has their eyes open, looking around. Sometimes there are two. When those two meet eyes, often they will both react by looking down and immediately closing their eyes.

Why do we do this? What good does it do to keep pretending?

"If I close my eyes, is the world still there?" -- Memento

Why do we lie to ourselves in order to maintain a sense of purpose and identity? Is it getting us anywhere? Is your real, honest existence such that you would prefer a pretense over your reality?

"Wherever you go, there you are." -- The Wire

I used to be the person in the group who would look around with one eye, and would occasionally encounter the "mutually busted" scenario described above. I know all too well that the blanket of shame we throw over ourselves in these moments does not make anything better, or help us to become a whole person.

Wherever you choose to step, make sure it's a true step, or you will get farther and farther away from who you really are.

-Ryan

This blog was created in the spirit of honesty, discussion and discernment. All comments are always welcome, even the lousy, ill-advised ones. :)

"What's for din din?"

2010-05-10T15:31:00.010-04:00

We've all heard the expression: "You are what you eat" -- Well, it's actually true. What you eat not only sustains you, but it becomes a part of you. Seriously. Don't believe me? Watch the movie King Corn and you'll discover that because over 90% of the items in a grocery store now contain a corn product of some sort, CORN is actually a main component found in our hair these days.

So there's that. We should probably both be aware and CARE about what we're consuming because we will have direct consequences, and being healthy is more fun than being sick... or being corn, for that matter.

Then there's the matter of social responsibility. Is anything being abused or mistreated in the growing and processing of MY food? Are animals being abused? Are employees in the factories PRODUCING my food being abused? How about the farmers growing the crops? The chain that traces back from my mouth to where that food started out involves a lot of steps, and there's a good chance that along the way, things don't look very pretty.

Having recently moved back to a meat 'n potatoes small town after being surrounded by a plethora of organic, vegetarian-friendly options in Chicago... I understand all too well that it's tough. It's tough to, as one of my vegan friends says: "eat like you give a shit."

You might be asking yourself either of these questions when you are confronted with this dilemma:

- Why SHOULD I eat with this mindset?
- How CAN I do it?

There is a lot to say to these questions, and it could never be adequately summed up in a simple blog post.

For those who care to learn more, here are some excellent, well-rounded documentary films that give great insight into these areas:

Food, Inc
The Future of Food
King Corn
The Corporation
Super Size Me

Then there are books for those who still know how to read:

Omnivore's Dilemma
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle
Skinny Bitch
Eating Animals
Politics of Food

For those who DON'T care to learn more, or maybe are stuck on that first question of "Why should I?" -- I offer these thoughts...

If you're a Christian in this category, you really don't need to look any further than Genesis to see that caring for the earth and the animals on it is an extremely high priority to god, so much so that it's the first command ever given to humankind. To 'serve and protect (sound familiar?) the earth'. Now, serving and protecting... I know that a lot of Christians love to walk away from Genesis focused on the idea that they have DOMINION, which means that they are in charge, and at the center of creation -- but this doesn't seem to be what is going on in your story, and I'm telling you with all due respect that you of ALL people should be supporting these ideas, not resisting them.

For the rest of you out there stuck on that question, I would just ask you to keep asking yourself that question HONESTLY... I think the answer will come to you when you take a good look in the mirror.

I say all of this in loving frustration with myself. I know more than I do. I preach more than I practice. I am anywhere but at the destination when it comes to this dilemma. But the tension still sparks me to take a step towards something positive today. And I know it will still be there tomorrow, dragging my ass out of line for Burger King and forcing me to make choices that align with what I know in my heart.

Wherever you are in the process... don't settle.

"Don't let your conscious hit you on your easy way out" :)

- Ryan

This blog was created in the spirit of discussion, discernment and honesty. All comments are always welcome -- even the lousy, ill-advised ones.

Edit Your Epitaph

2010-05-05T10:56:00.000-04:00

Just because you're used to your own smell doesn't mean that you don't smell like shit.

If you don't like what you see in the mirror, you have these options:
A. make improvements
B. live your life in self-loathing
C. lower your expectations
D. break all the mirrors

The fact is that no truly self-aware person ever really loves what they see in the mirror, so we're all left with these choices. Those who are not self-aware, just ask us and we will tell you what an ass you really are. Not that you'll believe us... because you're not self-aware. :)

Of course, I'm speaking about things well below the surface, nothing that would come out in a real-life mirror. We could make fun of you for your shirt with a wolf on it, or your bangs that are swallowing your eyebrows... but none of that matters, anyway (doesn't mean that we won't still make fun. I mean, seriously. Stop it with the wolf shirts already).

I'm talking about introspection. Self-reflection.

Is your epitaph going to have something about how snappy a dresser you were? Or your great fake pair of boobs? The fact is that no matter WHAT goes on your gravestone... it could be bullshit, anyway. Great husband (cheater, nobody knew), adored father of 4 (emotionally abusive), generous church deacon (didn't really believe in it)... you get the point. So it's not about putting on the right presentation in order to be remembered the way we wished we could have been.

It's about stepping up now and being honest for a change. Even if it makes you look like a total turd. If honesty makes you look a certain way, then you ARE that way. Our avoidance doesn't make us stink any less, it's just like spraying a turd with a ton of cologne.

The fact is, you've been dying since the day you were born. If you're honest with yourself, then it's possible for you to say that you were living at the exact same time.

--

This blog was created in the spirit of discussion, discernment and honesty. All comments are always welcome -- even the lousy, ill-advised ones. ;)